Why Be Nice? An Issue About Kindness

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This week’s newsletter was outlined, ready to go, but I decided to scrap my plan and write about something different. I will not be talking about one winery, nor will I be talking about any specific wines or food I had with wine. I want you to know upfront this week is all about kindness. Feel free to delete the email if this doesn’t interest you, and I will see you next week.

There was a combination of two events this week leading me down this rabbit hole. The first was watching Free Guy with Ryan Reynolds, and the second was watching Nandi Bushell on stage with the Foo Fighters playing drums.

Ryan Reynolds plays an artificial intelligence character in a first-person shooter where he decides to play a nice guy over the typical shoot everyone no matter what bad guy.

For Nandi, if you have been reading the newsletter for a while, you might remember me mentioning how Nandi called out Dave Grohl to a drumming contest over YouTube. He accepted, and they went back and forth a few times over YouTube. It was heartwarming and most excellent to see! Last night, Nandi, who is 10-ish years old, was on stage drumming an idol of hers. What a memory she will forever have!

Dave Grohl is a fantastic human being, and it feels like he genuinely wants to be on stage while connecting with every person in the audience. Back in 1999, I saw him with Red Hot Chili Peppers in Chattanooga, Tennessee. I will never forget him running through the upper balcony seats to bring those people into the concert.

I vividly remember a Saturday in November of 2019 after a day of wine tasting, someone asking me, “Why are you so nice?” It took me off guard. I never thought about the reason I was so nice. It's just who I am. What is so wrong with being a nice guy? Why is this such an oddity? All of us are humans doing our level best to get through the week, the day, the next 10 minutes of me rambling on and on.

The other week when I was at the Wine Media Conference, we took a quick detour to Red Lily Vineyards where we were greeted with a quick flight of wines to enjoy down by the river. It was hot, and I noticed Bubbles in the case chilling. I asked how much they were, and once I heard $17, it was a no-brainer. I proceeded to the river with a bucket of ice with a chilled Cava to share with everyone. Immediately everyone swarmed me, wanting a pour. The bottle lasted less than 5 minutes. Needless to say, another bottle was procured!

Some people dislike a particular larger winery in the Valley. I can understand their viewpoint and respect their decision. However, I frequent Domaine Serene quite often because of the connections with the people who work there. Every single time I visit, I am treated far superior to any preconceived expectations. I am friends with these same people, and they are some of the kindest and generous people I know.

When I mention a winery in these weekly rambles, the people come before the wine. A few standout memories of the people in the valley include: the first time I met with Andrew at Audeant in January of 2020, my first visit to Brooks later that day, sitting across the table with Janis last October, Bryan from Hazelfern taking me into the barrel room to talk tight and loose grained barrels, Laura from Hazelfern giving me a little surprise out of nowhere. I have so many unforgettable memories, and if I were to list every single exceptional memory, you would hunt me down and shoot me. The list is way too long.

Enough about me and my acts of kindness. Why did I feel it was needed to talk about kindness for this week’s newsletter? Labor Day is fast approaching. Most of us get together, have a little fun, and enjoy the remainder of summer. My ask is small. If you are gathering with friends or family or a group of strangers, go out of your way to do something extraordinary for one or two people. Make them do a double-take and wonder, “Why are you so nice?” Go into it with zero motives. Don't expect anything in return. Once you see the look of bewilderment turn into gratitude, take five seconds to notice how your body feels.

If you are spending time alone over Labor Day weekend, be super kind to yourself. Pour yourself a glass of wine, find a comfy place to sit (ideally outside), put your hands on your chest, close your eyes and say out loud, “I love you." Let the words in. Once you feel those words sink in, open your eyes, raise your glass toasting the sky and savor the moment.

There is so much in this world to be afraid of. A majority of our gut reactions come from hurt. What if our gut reactions were kindness instead? Chase your dreams, your ambitions, challenge Dave Grohl to a drum-off, and see where it gets you!

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With Gratitude,

A.J.